Looking for someone on the same boat
 

I am Chinese, F. Married. Im unable to confide my husband with anything. My marriage has reached a stage whereby each time I say something I have to think twice or thrice and most of the time I end up not saying anything at all because either he replies coldly to it or it just flies over his head. When Im happy about something and I want to share it with someone, I know its not gonna be him because heÂ’s not gonna give a shit. So theres that. Im looking for someone, be it men or women who may or may not be in a similar situation to perhaps see if any meaningful conversations can happen. Otherwise this will be another rant. :)

Re: Looking for someone on the same boat
 

Cooool Story Bro.
Is this boat sinkable? HAHAHA.

Re: Looking for someone on the same boat
 

Hi sis, do you have kids? If not, it is time to think of your future. I have met my share of my guys. Never trust them.

Re: Looking for someone on the same boat
 

I think there are many couples facing the same issues.

Any idea the reason of him being so cold? If the sparks are gone, there are still chance to rekindle the sparks. If the whole journey is over, you might wish to consider another new journey.

I watched how my late mum being so lonely after our dad left us for another family. My dad still provides for us. But my mum did not look for another partner. The only ones she left was us. It really depends on yourself if you still need to continue this marriage or not.

There must be some reasons for him to be so. Have you reflected on yourself?

Re: Looking for someone on the same boat
 

Got kids?
If there is ever a big fight before.. And u did something dramatic or drastic to him... Probably he already lost his interest in you. Hence him becoming cold.
As leader of the household, men wants to be respected, be it he deserves respect or not. If you ever disrespect him, and to a point where it breaks his max limit, there goes the relationship between the two of you.
I think.. There's 2 ways. Either u become tamed and listen to him (not every woman can do that in current generation), or just live your own life. Go out with friends, meet new friends, do a hobby... Etc.

Re: Looking for someone on the same boat
 

Not all guys the same. If you met guys that lie to you.. It means you controlled them too hard.

Re: Looking for someone on the same boat
 

Once you hit certain age, your day-to-day life become too routine, become less exciting. Your spouse may have his/her share of difficulties, ie men always had to work hard to service their debt/overhead/allowance, whereas ladies generally bog down with family chores, or office work, or simply mental stress from menopause.

You need to spice up your life. If your old friends/buddies all had their own lives, cant be as contactable, in the same predicament as you.
Build a bucket list, a list of things u wish to do in your life.

Your neighbourhood RC or CC had nice social events, where u could get acquainted with new friends to build a new social circle.
As for family life, create a get-together outing with your family. Travel is good start. Even busy people need to take a break from busy schedules.

For me, guy in the mid-50s, I led a boring life, 2 adult dotters, and a homemaker wife, during in my times in 40s, my weekends mostly alone, all my friends all are uncontactable/busy.. i started to look into my own welfare, and deviate from the family-first mentality.

I had to be adventurous, and seek out new acquaintance, and go travelling with friends, drinking out with new friends, and even go tour together.

I do spend time with my wife, eating out,attending local/overseas concerts, travel to Genting frequently.

Just be positive, even if you led a boring stale life.
Having a positive optimistic attitude you would able to venture into better life.

If you wish to rant about your life, I can be your listening ear..

Re: Looking for someone on the same boat
 

May or may not... meaningful convo. I will not hestitate to reply in non-eng/my/cinna/hok sense no energy to fight. Quite troublesome to cont. the convo. You confide with a malay to have a f. good time, see how it goes ....

Re: Looking for someone on the same boat
 

Cool story bro.

Re: Looking for someone on the same boat
 

Have you considered marriage counselling? It's good to find out what's the cause of the change in his behaviour. Is it a single issue that has been allowed to fester for too long or is it multiple issues that has accumulated over time?

How are things in bed? Still frequent or have you been ignoring him after the arrival of kids?