[illusions]

hi everyone.
I wonder how common bdsm is. Are there at least 25% or 50% of people have bdsm desires, or am I just the rare few.
I actually got to know a girl with bdsm desires from the old mirc chat. Then later a FL. And later, a friend even. In between, I offered myself to others for bdsm - I had this thought that if i enjoy having a slave, then how about i let someone enjoy me, but it wasn't easy.

Do u guys have bdsm experiences?

I searched bdsm on sammyboy, and found a big thread about paid bdsm to some female dommes. But to me, if i offer myself to someone for bdsm, it will be because I want that person to enjoy something, not cos I want to experience it.

BDSM vs SM
I realised that it is not so much of causing pain (like brutal caning) that I enjoy, but the power I get from obedience. I think one of the most arousing and cruel things I did was to make my friend hold herself in a pushup posture. Then I held a battery operated electric fly-swatter with live mesh exposed which I could used to shock her with. I enjoyed so much watching her body shake in fear as I brought the mesh near her. She was never more beautiful and arousing to me than at the point. That mixture of determination and fear on her face - she was so scard of the mesh, yet she still volutarily held her body there in submission - that made me feel so good.

We had sex after that for the first time. I didn't actually know at the start of the session of sex was something that was on the table. [ ... ]

I enjoyed her in many other ways too - very cruel ways, though rarely does it involved bondage and never any brutal type of whipping or caning. I defined a special kneeling posture for her - naked, hands behind her back or neck, knees wide apart. Sitting next to her when she is kneeling like that makes me feel so comfortable. After many minutes, the pain became more visible, and she is struggling harder to hold herself in the strict posture. But all the while, I could freely access her body, and watching her struggle to put herself in a posture of obedience to me is just so arousing.

ON THE OTHER SIDE
I later talked to a bisexual guy on a chat , and shared about what I did. He said it sounded really enjoyable and wish he could enjoy that too. When he said that, I knew that I should offer myself. I offered myself to him and we set a time to meet. While packing my stuff, I took the electrical shocking device to try on myself. I pressed the button and tried to press the mesh on my own skin. I initially couldn't bring myself to do it, but I tried to pschye myself It too me a while before I could bring myself to do it in the most careful manner. The shock jolt my body and I couldn't do it again. At that moment, I wanted to pull out.

A hours later, I was at his place, and I was in the same pushup posture that cerelia was in; and that same device I used to shock her is being casually and cruelly touched against my exposed skin. my whole body jerked up in response, and soon, I was shaking in fear as he ran it through my body. I think I felt exactly as cerelia felt at that instant - i was so scared that my body was shaking involuntarily as the device came near, yet I so much wanted to let him have this pleasure.


STARTING OUT
That's how I really like my sessions, one person in control of the other person, one person naked and struggling while the other comfortable in every way; one person denied of freedom while the other have full freedom.

In an ideal situation, like with my friend, we know and trust each other, and we explore the session 'open'. It started with somewhat accidental / joking discovery of each other's interest. We met up to talk about it, and we both wanted to do it but it was just awkward, and nothing happened.

The next time we met, we started off the conversation with her in a kneeling posture (clothed). That was so erotic, talking to her like that. As we talked abit about our desires, I began to start inching towards her and touching her.

A COUPLE OF THOUGHTS
I try to imagine a session where I chat with someone about SM. Initially, want to have a conversation to know more about that person, what he likes and dislikes, and see if you are compatible. But this conversation is down with the slave in a kneeling naked posture while master sits. It's a more comfortable way for the master to have a conversation, esp if the master is new or shy as well.

Given a choice, I would want to enjoy a girl this way. And to be able to find opportunities for these enjoyments is amazing. It is not so much the act of shocking or causing pain, but the act of obedience and submission that feels really good, especially when both are placed in asymmetrical posture. There were some sessions that were more directed towards fulfillment of her desires, and others more towards mine, though we were fortunate to have common elements we enjoyed (like the shocking story is like 100% mine. But she said this, "knowing that u have something so cruel, and I was able to withstand it all to ur fulfillment, that was erotic to me too. but i was really really scared of it."

I see some bondage porn where the submissive is almost totally enjoying herself, craving for more - somehow these don't appeal to me. I think the submissive needs to be brave enough to allow her master pleasures that he/she is not comfortable with, or even afraid of. The lack of physical restraints put confidence into the submissive because she can 'opt out' anytime. But it also makes it more difficult because the slave must stay by his or her own willpower.

ON BERATING WORDS
Some people, I think like strong language used on the slave. I'm somewhat opposite, and it does feel quite depraved to be appreciating her while continuing to torment her.

BISEXUAL
The most typical way of thinking of a slave-master pair is a female as the slave, holding herself in a stressful posture naked, with the male as the master, enjoying her anyway he wishes until when he decides he wants to have sex with her. Though I'm not gay, and I wouldn't otherwise enjoy any guy-guy r/s, but I do like to be the slave for someone, and if that person is a guy, I'm willing.


WHY I'M SHARING
I guess to some ppl seasoned in this scene, what I described is really very mild. But everyone has their own experience I suppose. The description of these sessions are just a couple of snippets from what we have done together, but I think they are quite different from others, based on brief reading of the stories around or looking at porn.

Don't ask me for girl's contact (that's how these threads tend to gravitate towards). But I guess in the rare situations a guy is looking for something to try with another guy, I may be open. Do tell me a bit a bout what you liked about what I talked about, what u din, or what u personally like I din cover.

It's not so much a meetup thread though, I just like to hear what you guys/gals think, cos I think what i described are not the typical bdsm stuff ppl think about (and bdsm isn't typical to begin with).