[JEMMA]

Chapter Fifteen

Following their plan, Robert visited Ramona at the bank again two days later and asked her out to dinner again, this time as his treat. They laughed when Robert described how he had tried to make a reservation at "Mom's Diner" which, he had been assured by the men working on his house, was the best place in town to eat. Frances Dicky, otherwise known as "Mom" and owner of Mom's Diner, had laughed out loud. "You're not from around here, are you?" he mimicked Frances saying.

The morning after their dinner date, Ramona held her co-workers spellbound by her description of what had happened.

"We got there and there were no cars in the parking lot. I was afraid there had been a mistake and the place was closed!" Ramona told them. "Then the door opened and Mrs. Dicky came out and took us in. He rented the whole diner for the night!" Ramona didn't have to pretend to be flattered. Robert hadn't told her he was going to do that. Robert had admitted that he asked "Mom" how much she made on the average Friday night and then offered her 5 times that amount to serve just the 2 of them. "There were 4 men in there with violins and guitars and I don't know what all, and Mrs. Dicky served us herself. It was just amazing!"

"How romantic" sighed Agnes Clit.

"Did he kiss you?" asked Renee.

"Renee! I'm shocked you'd even ask that," said Ramona, trying not to giggle. "I will tell you this, though. I like him. We have fun together. He tells the most amazing stories."

3 days later the mood at the bank was almost the opposite. Renee brought in a newspaper that had a picture of Robert with another woman. The headline was, "Local millionaire samples night life," and there was a story about how Robert had come back from what the paper called his world travels, and was renovating his ancestral home in the town of Naughty, which was, in fact, named for his family. The woman with him was identified as Lucinda cumshot, daughter of Magnus Cumshot, who owned and operated the Cumshot Furniture Emporium. The couple were attending a benefit fund raiser for a local orphanage, but she wore a slinky dress, and was covered with jewels and looked very much the part of a rich man's escort.

"That dirty dog is running around behind your back Ramona," snarled Renee, throwing the paper down on Ramona's desk.

Ramona was well aware that Robert was going to "take out" other women as part of his role playing, but seeing the smiling buxom woman on his arm still caused her gut to clench. It showed and Renee became a commiserator instantly.

"Don't you worry about it baby," she said to Ramona. "There are other fish in the sea. If he comes in here again I'll throw him out myself!"

Ramona smiled. "Renee, he's a grown man and he can date whomever he wants. I like him, but I don't own him. And don't you dare throw him out either. I may not be exotic and beautiful like her," she slapped the paper, "but I'm the better pick and I think he's smart enough to see that."

Renee agreed vociferously. "You're right. You're better than that blond bimbo any day, and if he's not smart enough to see that then he doesn't deserve you!"

That night Ramona reported the conversation to Robert, who identified the woman in the picture as the daughter of a man who had approached him to do business with. Robert, having problems finding "women to forward our plan" had agreed to escort the man's daughter to the benefit. Robert laughed about how the man tried to use his own daughter to seal a deal that Robert had no intention of entering into.

When Robert came into the bank the next day, he waved nonchalantly to Ramona, and went to a teller cage to do some business of some sort. Then he went and stuck his head into Frank's office, glad-handing like a politician. It was then that he went to Renee's desk and tried unsuccessfully to make small talk with her. Renee was frosty, and kept her eyes on her work most of the time.

Finally Robert sauntered over to Ramona's desk.

"And how is my favorite financial Wizard doing today?" he asked, loudly enough for several people, including Renee, to hear. Renee rolled her eyes in an exaggerated manner at Ramona.

"Why I'm fine, Robert ... may I call you Robert?" she said sweetly.

"I would be devastated if you did not," he said smiling. "And when will you grace me with your company again, if I may be so bold?" he asked formally.

The newspaper Renee had given her was lying on her desk, where she had left it intentionally. "Why Robert, it appears that you have plenty of company. When would you ever be able to fit me in?" She let her fingers drift over the paper.

Robert laughed. "Ramona, let there be no mistake. I would rather spend one evening with you than 10 with women like that," he said. "You are interesting, and beautiful and you laugh at my horrible jokes. I have tomorrow night open ... and the night after that ... and the next night too. Please, have pity on me," he pleaded.

"You're a charmer, I'll give you that," sighed Ramona. She had the urge to giggle so much that she had to bite the inside of her cheek to stop it. "All right. I haven't been roller skating in years. Do you roller skate Robert?"

Robert looked stricken. "I will learn!" he said. "Surely such a thing cannot be so difficult. I understand that hundreds of people do it."

The date was made and Robert left, shaking hands with everyone he could reach.

Renee was at her desk before the outside door closed. "Are you really going to take him skating?" she asked.

"Sure" said Ramona. "Why not? He's just a man. Why don't you and Ted come along too?"

"I might just do that," said Renee. "I'll suggest that if he isn't a little nicer to me I might feel inclined to get to know the very wealthy Mr. Robert Naughty a little better. It doesn't hurt a bit that he's cute too." She giggled as Ramona chided her for being mercenary.

In fact, by the time Robert escorted Ramona into the "Skate Inn", there was a sudden resurgence of interest in roller skating by a surprising number of adults, most of whom worked at the bank, or were married to someone who worked at the bank.

It was a riot. Robert had never had skates on in his life, while Ramona had gone skating with Richard quite often, and was really quite good. She unfailingly picked Robert up off the floor each time he crashed down, and steadied him as he rolled along uncertainly. Her co-workers helped pull him up too. By the end of the evening he was able to stay up most of the time as she pulled him, hand in hand, around in circles. Everybody went out for drinks at Pussy's Tavern when it was all done. Robert didn't act at all stuffy. He also made sure he told some very horrible jokes.

From there it was just a matter of making sure that people knew Robert took Ramona out more than he took any other woman out. Then their plan moved to the phase where he took only Ramona out.

No one, at least who lived in Naughty, was surprised when, 3 months later, Robert Naughty proposed marriage to Ramona Fucking.

Ramona's wanted Renee to be her maid of honor, with Debbie as the only other bridesmaid. That decision was relatively easy. In thinking about Robby, however, Ramona's feelings were much more conflicted. That was the result of reflection on the persistent feelings she had developed for her son, and her discussion about that with Robert. Her un-motherly attraction to him, in a way, made her feel like she was closer to him than any man other than Robert himself. In that sense, she felt like that, when she married Robert, she would distance herself from something very special by "leaving" Robby. In a philosophical moment she decided that it was appropriate, in a very private way, for Robby to give her away.

With that in mind, she talked with her children about those roles and said she wanted to spend an evening with each of them, alone, to just talk about things and settle in everyone's mind what their expectations were for life in the near and not-so-near future. What they were doing was a big decision, and their lives would change considerably because of it. Ramona didn't want to lose anything she had with her family as they gained other things.

Her night with Debbie was scheduled first. Robby spent the night with Mike, who wanted an update on what was happening with the Naughty mansion and the crazy hermit they had all seen together, and that left the house to his mother and sister.

Ramona and Debbie talked about a lot of things, but two of them were probably more important than the others.

"I need to know how you feel about the money," Ramona said, as she ate spoonfuls of ice cream out of her quart of Rocky Road, while Debbie did her best to destroy a quart of Butter Brickle.

"Well, we've never really had a lot of money," said Debbie. "I don't know what it will be like."

"Do you think you'll just be able to buy whatever you want?" asked her mother.

"That would be nice," said Debbie. "But I've seen some of the rich kids at school, and they seem ... empty somehow. At least sometimes. It's hard to explain."

"It's important to me that you stay who you are," said Ramona. "I don't want money to become too important to you."

"I think if we talk about that, it will be okay," said Debbie. "Even though I argue with you sometimes I think you're pretty smart for an adult," said Debbie smiling. "You usually give me pretty good advice."

"Okay, we'll agree to talk things out then," said Ramona. "Now, what about Robby?" she asked. "I have some advice for you about that."

Debbie shifted uncomfortably in the overstuffed armchair she was currently occupying. "I love him mother," she said.

"I know that, and I understand that. But what you two are doing has real consequences," said Ramona patiently. "Things have been so crazy that we haven't taken care of protection yet. And I suspect you two haven't decided to stop for a while until that gets done."

Debbie had the grace to blush, but didn't confirm her mother's suspicions.

Ramona bored on. "What, for instance, are you going to do if he makes you pregnant?"