Quote:
Originally Posted by birdlovely
Thanks for the long and meaningful wake up message. To be honest, i kinda fall for this trap currently. Everytime when I decided to get it out, i got kc-ed again. Its hard when they are so good in manipulating us
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No problem bro. I am mostly a visitor in this forum but my recent experiences calls for my humble contribution since bros have been discussing about this. The MLs always say that Singaporean guys “素质好”, I am sure you guys heard before about this, where they explain that most Singaporean guys are willing to conform to their requests and not be too overboard. The underlying message of this "compliment" is just saying that Singaporean guys are easily manipulated, where many of us are willing to go beyond our limits and boundaries to help them, even when we know we will get nothing at the end of the day. There is a larger societal context on why Singaporean guys are generally "gullible", it is a separate topic after all but fundamentally it got to do with local guys' late entry into the society because of national service, and our local culture, education and information we been receiving since young. Of course the initial process of "relationship" is always fun and interesting, especially when you get "special treatment" or even receive "special services" from them. But these are not permanent, and when the physical fun subsided, what is left are the seek of emotional comfort. And that's when we fall into the "KC trap".
One more story to share for bros who are stuck in a relationship with these MLs. Because of my relationship with the ML recently, I had the chance to know many of her friends/colleagues back in China who are also now in SG working as ML. I asked them sometimes on why they chose to step into this line, a common response would be that "因为当时的男朋友/老公没法给我想要的生活，所以没办法只得努力赚钱." Now, I am not trying to criticize these ladies from a moral perspective, trying to pursue a better material life is a mentality where most human beings have. But, as the common saying goes:"once stepping into the dark side there is no turning back. " The fact that these MLs chose to pursue "money" over "relationships" at some point of their life, there is absolutely no guarantee that they wont do that again especially...... where they have tasted the fruits of stepping into this trade; an indeed higher spending power. My point is simple. To marry is to marry someone whom you can tide through thin and thick, to put it simply and I dont want to over-generalize but still, these MLs has exceptionally high possibility of reflecting a personality trait where it could be best described as :" 可共富贵， 不可共患难". When one day you could no longer provide her with the material life, will she be willing to stay by you or will she take the route like she did many years back...? I believe this question is a MUST question for bros who are considering to settle down with the MLs.