[seesaw]

Mathematician: Shit happening is just a special case...

Statistician: There is an 83.7% chance that shit will happen. Maybe.

Physicist (Theoretical): Shit SHOULD happen.

Physicist (Experimental): To within experimental error, shit DID happen.

Engineer: I hope this shit holds together.

Chemist: I hope this shit doesn't blow up.

Biologist: Is this shit alive?

Economist: I hope no one figures out that I don't really understand this shit.

Beurocrat: I'm sorry, but we make this shit happen until you fill out form XJ-314159 to make an appointment with our Assistant Sub-Deputy Manager to obtain form ZN-271828...

CEO: (1980's) I've got all the shit I want. (1990's) Oh, SHIT!

Lawyer: For a sufficient fee, I can get you out of ANY shit.

Doctor: Take two shits and call me in the morning.

Surgeon: Shit, where's this organ supposed to go?

Psychologist: Shit is in your mind. Everything that happens is shit; some of it is just repressing its subconscious shittiness.

Programmer: It's shit, but at least it compiles.

Social Scientist: Let's pretend that shit doesn't happen...

Politician: It's shit, but it'll get me elected. If you elect me, shit will never again happen. Shit happening is bad for the economy.

Waitress: You want fries with that shit?

Musician: This shit is out of tune.

Dean: Let's see how much shit the faculty'll take.

Accountant: Why doesn't this shit add up?

Linguist: What I'm doing is a bunch of feces tauri.

Quality Control Inspector: This shit ain't good enough.

IRS Auditor: I'll make 'em squirm for putting this shit on their tax forms.

Farmer: I get subsidies for my shit.

Union leader: Give us more shit or we'll strike.

Mafia boss: Rub the little shits out.

NYC Cab Driver: Damn, looks like I hit that shit...