[HCKing]

Seeking a raise

I,the Penis aka the Dick, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:


I do physical labour
I work at great depths
I work head first
I do not get RDO's, weekends off or public holidays
I work in a damp environment
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases

Response from Management:

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:


You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
You do not always follow the order of the management team
You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
You take a lot of non-rostered breaks
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You don't always observe OH&S measures, such as wearing the correct protective outfits
You don't wait till pension age before retiring
You don't like working double shifts
You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the work place carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.