[bigbirdbird]

Some Valentine Cards That Probably Wont Go Over Too Well

We're perfect for each other...
I can't hold a job and you have a trust fund.

Will you be my sweet valentine?
Please let me know as soon as possible, because I have
some backups in mind.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...
One... Two.... yeah, that is about it I guess!

Tonight is going to be a special night.
Just you and me and ESPN.

I admire your strength, I admire your spunk but the
thing I like best, is getting you drunk.

Our love will never become cold and hollow
Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.

I bought this Valentine's card at the store
In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.

This feels so good, it feels so right
I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.

You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class
especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.
Through all the things that came to pass
Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass.

You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie
I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty."

I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny
So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!

If you think that hickey looks like a blister
You should check out the one that I gave to your
sister!

To my snuggly-wuggly, eentsy-weentsy, honeyy-baby...
I am going to screw you so hard tonight.

Honey, be mine!
Can I do you from behind?