40+ Single Men... Question For You

[Johnbass]

Originally Posted by ColdBlood99

I thought you have wifi Liao?

Told u it's my friend de friend de friend liao...
I got many friends.
I friend u ok?

[Johnbass]

Originally Posted by lotsfits80

Thanks for sharing. For me I never agree that marriage is just about sex, just like life is not about money. But with enough sex it makes the marriage wonderful don't you think?

I think before marriage I will have a serious sit down discussion with her, on both our expectations toward each other. Without good sex life how can one says that a marriage is successful??

If u really considering marriage... Go for marriage counseling bah.
Otherwise it's only your POV vs her POV.
Gets you no where.
Both of you may see the real problem from a 3rd party's POV.

[rtmFRs]

Originally Posted by lotsfits80

I'm thinking of being single again and become a player instead of committed, but I'm worried that I will get lonely when I grow old and cannot fuck anymore. How do you deal with this issue? Will it be lonely? Or the freedom is great?

one question
whats the use of pussy if u can't fxxk
you can always buy drinks for your buddies if you are lonely

[Wintermelontea]

I am not in that age range but I do know one thing:

All relationships need nurturing.


Turning player or what is just a choice. Please do not confuse yourself.

[lotsfits80]

Originally Posted by Wintermelontea

I am not in that age range but I do know one thing:

All relationships need nurturing.


Turning player or what is just a choice. Please do not confuse yourself.

We have been 8 years in a relationship and 4 years of it closely together. We will only be 20s once, 30s once... like Wayne Lai said "人生有多少个十年"?

After the years are gone, do you think I can say "hey, this is not working, let's turn back the clock to 10 years back and try another path"

[Johnbass]

Originally Posted by lotsfits80

We have been 8 years in a relationship and 4 years of it closely together. We will only be 20s once, 30s once... like Wayne Lai said "人生有多少个十年"?

After the years are gone, do you think I can say "hey, this is not working, let's turn back the clock to 10 years back and try another path"

You also tio the YOLO syndrome ah?
Life choices are never simple.
There is no user guide to a perfect marriage.

Even if everyone vote-who-they-say-they-will-vote come year 2016...
Will FTs be lesser?
Will inflation be lower?
Will sex be better?

[ColdBlood99]

Originally Posted by Johnbass

Told u it's my friend de friend de friend liao...
I got many friends.
I friend u ok?

I thought you have more enemies than friends?

[ColdBlood99]

Originally Posted by lotsfits80

I agree with what u said. She can be a good wife. This morning while she's preparing to go to work I just sat down and looked at her. She looks so beautiful to me I thought "I love her. I love this girl" then she saw me and said "oi...crazy ah? See what?" Hahaha she's so cute.



Thanks for sharing. For me I never agree that marriage is just about sex, just like life is not about money. But with enough sex it makes the marriage wonderful don't you think?

I think before marriage I will have a serious sit down discussion with her, on both our expectations toward each other. Of course we love each other but love is not just a saying but it is comprised of many things that make it work. Household management, respect, caring, honesty, communication, and many things. Sex is also one of it. Sex is physical and intimate, the only factor that differentiates a friendly love with a marriage love. Without good sex life how can one says that a marriage is successful??

Originally Posted by lotsfits80

We have been 8 years in a relationship and 4 years of it closely together. We will only be 20s once, 30s once... like Wayne Lai said "人生有多少个十年"?

After the years are gone, do you think I can say "hey, this is not working, let's turn back the clock to 10 years back and try another path"

You must be a good guy and that why your gal is together with for 8 years. Try sit down with her and talk to her your problem. Every problem can be sort out.

[Johnbass]

Originally Posted by ColdBlood99

I thought you have more enemies than friends?

Was just watching "Ender's Game" yst... got this quote... SMLJ
Whatever it means... lol

Ender Wiggin: In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him.

[Flinger2]

I read your story and your predicaments.

All the below applies only if you TRULY LOVE your woman.

I can share with you what I have learned over the years :

It is rare or near impossible to find someone who will be compatible with you in all ways , so what you have to do is prioritize what is important to you to the least important . The problem with this is is that priorities change over time as you grow older so you have to be careful in making your decision.

These are the good points about her :

1) Based on your story, it seems she loves you emotionally and you are a priority for her. You want to be married to someone who loves you more that you love her. Trust me this is important when you have problems in your marriage.

2) She financially well to do based on her career as well as her family supporting her. She also knows how to manage finances well. This is key in every marriage and can help a marriage survive. You don't have to worry about finances like a lot of people do.

3) Based on your story, she will look after you when you are down with illness or bad times etc.... This is often hard to find , when bad times come, a lot of people run away. So finding such a person is important.

All these might not seem important now, but are key to married life that will lives forever.

The bad point about her :

1) She has low sex drive and not able to satisfy you.

2) You have disagreements on certain things and viewpoints. She is forceful to say her view is right.

So here is my logical practical thinking advice ( not necessarily moral according to society, but what gives society the right to judge anyone?):

1) For the bad points : Low sex drive, based on what you mention, she had never had sex, so after marriage, and her 1st taste of sex, she might actually change. BUT in case she doesn't, my advice to you is to outsource for the things you can't have. Not to cheat her with another woman ( this is emotional cheating and most woman cannot forgive), but to relieve your urges there are many places you can relieve your sexual urges.

Why do I say this? because over time, as you grow older , your urges will go down or your mind will be more powerful than your urges and thus be able to control it.

I think losing a good woman whom you LOVE just for lack of sex drive is a bad decision which will impact you for life. You might regret later.

Its very hard to find someone you truly LOVE. you can like a person, you can have a companionship but to find a person you truly LOVE is hard and when you do find the person, you should not let go.

You find a workaround for the bad points and the workaround for low sex urge is to outsource.

2) For the disagreements - This happens in every relationship, you just need to sit down and work out a solution for this. Disagreements come out for many reasons, most of times because of ego , pride etc....

Based on what I read about your girl, she seems to feel you are hard to trust based on your past. If you make her trust you, she might actually change quite a bit and you might have more freedom as you put it. =)

If you TRULY LOVE her with all your heart , then the sex drive and disagreement should not matter.

However, if you intending to marry just because you are getting old and you have been with her for so many years, or she has money etc... its the road to disaster. =)

[lotsfits80]

Originally Posted by Flinger2

I read your story and your predicaments.

All the below applies only if you TRULY LOVE your woman.

I can share with you what I have learned over the years :

It is rare or near impossible to find someone who will be compatible with you in all ways , so what you have to do is prioritize what is important to you to the least important . The problem with this is is that priorities change over time as you grow older so you have to be careful in making your decision.

These are the good points about her :

1) Based on your story, it seems she loves you emotionally and you are a priority for her. You want to be married to someone who loves you more that you love her. Trust me this is important when you have problems in your marriage.

2) She financially well to do based on her career as well as her family supporting her. She also knows how to manage finances well. This is key in every marriage and can help a marriage survive. You don't have to worry about finances like a lot of people do.

3) Based on your story, she will look after you when you are down with illness or bad times etc.... This is often hard to find , when bad times come, a lot of people run away. So finding such a person is important.

All these might not seem important now, but are key to married life that will lives forever.

The bad point about her :

1) She has low sex drive and not able to satisfy you.

2) You have disagreements on certain things and viewpoints. She is forceful to say her view is right.

So here is my logical practical thinking advice ( not necessarily moral according to society, but what gives society the right to judge anyone?):

1) For the bad points : Low sex drive, based on what you mention, she had never had sex, so after marriage, and her 1st taste of sex, she might actually change. BUT in case she doesn't, my advice to you is to outsource for the things you can't have. Not to cheat her with another woman ( this is emotional cheating and most woman cannot forgive), but to relieve your urges there are many places you can relieve your sexual urges.

Why do I say this? because over time, as you grow older , your urges will go down or your mind will be more powerful than your urges and thus be able to control it.

I think losing a good woman whom you LOVE just for lack of sex drive is a bad decision which will impact you for life. You might regret later.

Its very hard to find someone you truly LOVE. you can like a person, you can have a companionship but to find a person you truly LOVE is hard and when you do find the person, you should not let go.

You find a workaround for the bad points and the workaround for low sex urge is to outsource.

2) For the disagreements - This happens in every relationship, you just need to sit down and work out a solution for this. Disagreements come out for many reasons, most of times because of ego , pride etc....

Based on what I read about your girl, she seems to feel you are hard to trust based on your past. If you make her trust you, she might actually change quite a bit and you might have more freedom as you put it. =)

If you TRULY LOVE her with all your heart , then the sex drive and disagreement should not matter.

However, if you intending to marry just because you are getting old and you have been with her for so many years, or she has money etc... its the road to disaster. =)

Thanks for your thoughtful input. Appreciate it.

I agree with you that priorities will change in life at different stages.

I can just hope that once we have settled down and started making more money and traveling around the world, she will also start to be not so tensed up and enjoy doing activities with me.

But you are right that I love her because she is not like other girls. She is not materialistic, not bitchy and shares the same worldview with me which I really love and I think it's hard to find.

[hoho99]

Hmmm, Ts, have you ever stop and wonder if its you who does not interest her in Sex?

Am sure you have come across many women who engage in sex freely in your encounter in workplace, social circle or even study course. Women nowadays are more empowered because of better education, better access to information and have better financial rewards in their workplace. Thus, you must have seen and know many who does not see herself as a weaker party when it comes to sex.

My point will be TS has to be extra careful in his relationship as he tried to protray his gf as the alpha in the relationship. If you accept the current lifestyle, then in the future don't be sad in anything crops up. Sex is not the only fuel in a couple's life but its a good fuel. But if you let sex run the show in your couple's life then it will soon turn into a nightmare for you too.

[lotsfits80]

Originally Posted by hoho99

Hmmm, Ts, have you ever stop and wonder if its you who does not interest her in Sex?

Am sure you have come across many women who engage in sex freely in your encounter in workplace, social circle or even study course. Women nowadays are more empowered because of better education, better access to information and have better financial rewards in their workplace. Thus, you must have seen and know many who does not see herself as a weaker party when it comes to sex.

My point will be TS has to be extra careful in his relationship as he tried to protray his gf as the alpha in the relationship. If you accept the current lifestyle, then in the future don't be sad in anything crops up. Sex is not the only fuel in a couple's life but its a good fuel. But if you let sex run the show in your couple's life then it will soon turn into a nightmare for you too.

Never had sex before. Not even with any girl. I don't know if it's just me that she doesn't want but I think I will give us more time now.

There were girls I know who actually flirted me, but I think I'm stupid or something I never went further. Once a next-class college mate whom I wasn't really close with, actually invited me to her apartment, alone. Then today I had this colleague msg me "miss u..." And ask me to look for her in her town next time as she is moving...

LOL. I think I have the "tu hua yun" but so far I only dedicate my life to my gf... Although I'm damn horny it's really a wonder how I kept my didi in my pants for so long.

[Johnbass]

Originally Posted by lotsfits80

Never had sex before. Not even with any girl. I don't know if it's just me that she doesn't want but I think I will give us more time now.

LOL. I think I have the "tu hua yun" but so far I only dedicate my life to my gf... Although I'm damn horny it's really a wonder how I kept my didi in my pants for so long.

U still virgin ah? That explains lah...
I know what medicine can cure you liao.

[SnowLeopards]

Are you extending your WIFI as a remedy Johnny boy ?

Pierre.